Since my wife left her job after her pregnancy, we’ve faced significant financial challenges. What Can You Do?

divorceresolution8
Apr 8
3 min read

After welcoming a baby, roles shift. Your partner might step away from work to focus on childcare. You step deeper into providing.

It’s a decision made with love, but over time, the unspoken weight can build up.

You’re proud to support your family. But the truth is... you're feeling the strain. The money feels tight. You don’t want to make your partner feel bad, but you need to talk about it. So how do you start that conversation without causing tension or guilt?

Let’s walk through how to do it with clarity, compassion, and teamwork.

Why Financial Pressure Builds in Silence

You don’t want to come off ungrateful for the work your partner does at home
You feel like you “should be able to handle it” alone
You avoid talking about money until something small becomes a blow-up

A real scenario:

You see a $50 charge for baby clothes online, and it's expensive, because your card is nearly maxed. But instead of speaking with your wife, you shut down. Or worse, you lash out.

That’s not about the $50. It’s about not feeling safe to talk about pressure.

A Better Way to Start the Conversation

The key? Speak from your feelings, not from blame.

Your goal is connection, not correction.

Instead of saying: “You don’t work anymore, and I’m stuck paying for everything.”

Try saying: “I’ve been feeling a lot of financial pressure lately, and I think I’ve been holding it in too long. Can we talk about where we’re at and what we can do together?”

This opens the door for a two-way conversation, not a blame game.

1. Use Collaborative Language

It’s not “your spending” or “my burden”, it’s our life, our family, our goals.

Receptive example: “I know you’ve been doing a lot caring for the baby, and I appreciate it more than I say. I’ve just been quietly stressing about the finances, and I don’t want to carry that silently anymore.”

Bonus tip: Say it during a calm moment, not right after a purchase or an argument.

2. Explore the Bigger Picture Together

This isn’t just about right now. It’s about planning the next steps as a team.

Try asking:

“How do you feel about our finances lately?”
“Would you be open to exploring part-time or remote options in the future?”
“Are there ways we can cut back for now—without it feeling like we’re sacrificing joy?”
“What would a balanced plan look like for both of us six months from now?”

3. Focus on Solutions, Not Sacrifices

Instead of: “We can’t afford anything anymore!”

Try: “What are a few areas we could tighten up on together so we can breathe easier by the end of the month?”

Instead of: You should get a job.”

Try: Would it feel manageable to look at options when the baby’s sleep routine is a bit more settled?”

Conclusion:

You’re not wrong for feeling the weight. And your partner’s not wrong for needing rest and space after childbirth. You’re both doing your best, but pressure can turn into distance if it’s never spoken out loud.

The most powerful thing you can say might just be: