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Are You Really Paying Attention to What Your Child is Saying?

  • divorceresolution8
  • Apr 1
  • 2 min read

Children communicate in various ways, from the words they say to the actions they take and even in moments of silence. But as parents, are we truly listening to them?



Often, they may not have the words or may choose not to speak openly about their feelings. By being more mindful and aware, you can ensure that you’re truly hearing what they need to say.



Signs You Might Be Missing Important Conversations


• Your child says, "Never mind" or "It doesn’t matter" often – These phrases can signal that your child feels dismissed or unheard.


• They seem withdrawn or hesitant to share their feelings – When children close off emotionally, it could be a sign that they don't feel safe or understood in expressing themselves.


• Conversations feel one-sided or surface-level – If your child isn’t going beyond small talk, they may not feel comfortable delving into deeper conversations.


• They act out instead of talking about their emotions – When children can’t find the words, they may express their feelings through behavior rather than speech.




How to Be a Better Listener


  1. Give Your Full AttentionWhen your child speaks, give them your undivided attention. Put away distractions, such as your phone, and focus on them. Your body language—eye contact and facing them directly—signals that you’re engaged and interested in what they have to say.


  2. Listen Beyond WordsWhat your child is saying is just one part of the conversation. Pay attention to their tone, body language, and facial expressions. Often, emotions like fear, sadness, or frustration are conveyed more strongly in how they act or look than in what they actually say.


  3. Ask Open-Ended QuestionsTo encourage more than a “yes” or “no” response, ask questions that invite them to share more. For instance, instead of “Did you have a good day?” try “What was the best part of your day?” or “What did you enjoy most about school today?” These questions prompt deeper responses and allow you to understand their perspective better.


  4. Validate Their FeelingsNo matter how small or trivial their concerns may seem to you, they are significant to your child. Acknowledge their emotions by saying things like, “I understand that you're feeling upset” or “It’s okay to feel frustrated.” Validating their feelings helps them feel heard and builds trust.


  5. Create a Routine for Regular Check-insSometimes children don’t open up spontaneously. Set aside a specific time each day, like during dinner or before bed, to check in with them about their day. The consistency of these check-ins gives your child the space to share freely and lets them know you’re always available to listen.



By being an active listener, you can deepen your connection with your child, build trust, and foster an environment where they feel comfortable sharing their feelings. When you truly listen, you create a safe space for them to express themselves openly, without fear of being judged or ignored.


Written with Passion by: InsideOut Counselling & Wellness (HappierHomes CoFounder)

If you ever need professional support, you know who to find! :)

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