“Mum, I’m Fine” – What Your Child Might Really Be Saying
- divorceresolution8
- Apr 1
- 3 min read
Hearing "Mum, I’m fine" often feels like a dead end in a conversation, but it’s important to understand that behind those words, your child may be hiding a whirlwind of emotions.
Children and teens sometimes struggle with feelings they can’t fully express, whether it’s anxiety, stress, or a sense of being overwhelmed by pressures they can’t manage.
These emotions can be hard to articulate, and so, they resort to brushing it off with “I’m fine” as a way to protect themselves from feeling vulnerable or to avoid adding to their parents’ worries. But as a parent, knowing how to read between the lines and recognizing the subtle signs of emotional distress can make all the difference in helping your child navigate through tough times.
Signs Your Child May Be Struggling
• Changes in mood or behavior – If your child is unusually irritable or emotional, it could be a sign that something deeper is troubling them.
• Withdrawal from family or friends – A child who suddenly isolates themselves may be struggling with feelings they don’t know how to express.
• Difficulty sleeping or changes in appetite – Stress can manifest physically; if your child’s sleep patterns or eating habits have changed, it could be an indication of emotional distress.
• Sudden drop in school performance – A noticeable decline in academic performance may reflect underlying anxiety or stress that’s impacting their ability to focus.
• Increased irritability or frustration – When a child is overwhelmed, even small things may trigger an outsized emotional response.
How to Check In and Support Your Child
Create a Safe Space - Let your child know they can talk openly with you, without fear of judgment. Instead of pushing them to talk, offer gentle open-ended questions like, “How’s everything been going?” or “Is there anything you want to share with me?” This allows them to express their feelings at their own pace.
Observe Their Behavior - Sometimes, actions speak louder than words. Watch for any changes in their habits, body language, or daily routine. If they seem more withdrawn, anxious, or are having trouble focusing, it’s a cue that they may be struggling with something more than just a bad day.
Share Your Own Feelings - When you share your own emotions with them, you help normalize the idea that it’s okay to express vulnerability. For example, “I had a really hard day too, but talking about it really helped me feel better. Do you ever feel like that?” By showing your own openness, you encourage them to do the same.
Encourage Healthy Outlets - Sometimes, children can’t verbalize their emotions easily, but physical activity, art, or writing can help them process what they’re feeling. Encourage them to engage in hobbies or activities that allow for self-expression, whether it’s drawing, playing sports, or even journaling.
Be Consistently Available - Often, it’s not about having one big conversation, but rather creating an ongoing environment of support. Make sure your child knows that you’re always there to listen, even if it’s just a brief check-in. Regular, low-pressure conversations will help them feel supported and less likely to hide their feelings behind the “I’m fine” response.
By paying attention to these signs and creating an open, supportive environment, you can help your child process their emotions and avoid the deepening isolation that comes from bottling up their struggles.
Written with Passion by: InsideOut Counselling & Wellness (HappierHomes CoFounder)
If you ever need professional support, you know who to find! :)
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