When Your Child Bullies Their Sibling, What It Looks Like, Why It Happens, and How to Handle It

wedevelopmenttech
Apr 22
2 min read

Sibling dynamics can be messy, but when teasing becomes harmful, verbally, physically, or emotionally, it’s time to step in with awareness and action.

What It Looks Like:

Constant name-calling, mocking, or put-downs
Hitting, pushing, or aggressive “play” that leaves one child in tears
Blaming, gaslighting, or making the other sibling feel small
One child always dominating or the other always submitting

How Your Child May Feel:

The one bullying: May feel powerless somewhere else in life, at school, in friendships, or even at home. Sometimes, they're not feeling seen, appreciated, or praised for the good they do. "So, they try to feel 'in control' the only way they know how—by dominating their sibling. The one being bullied: May feel unsafe in their own home, unseen by their parents, or start believing the negative things being said to them.

Why It’s Harmful:

It creates long-term resentment between siblings.
It affects both children's self-worth.
It teaches unhealthy conflict patterns that follow them into adult relationships.

Practical Ways to Handle It:

1. Don't ignore or downplay it

Avoid saying “siblings just fight” when one child is consistently hurt or dominated.
Say: “This isn’t teasing, it’s hurting. I’m not okay with that.”

2. Separate the conflict from the children

Avoid labeling one as the "bully" or the "victim."
Instead, address the behavior: “Calling names is not okay, no matter how mad you are.”

3. Help them express what’s under the behavior

Ask: “What were you feeling right before you said that to your brother?”
Guide both children to name emotions: jealousy, boredom, anger, etc.

4. Set clear, consistent boundaries

Use family rules like: “In this house, we speak with respect—even when we’re upset.”
Follow through with fair consequences (e.g., time apart, loss of privileges).

5. Repair matters more than punishment

Encourage genuine apologies only after everyone has calmed down.
Help them rebuild trust: “What can you do to make your sister feel safe again?”

6. Watch how conflict is modeled at home

Children often mimic how adults resolve tension.
Model calm problem-solving, not yelling or passive aggression.

Final Thought:

Sibling bullying doesn’t mean your child is “bad”, it means they’re overwhelmed and need help learning better ways to connect, express, and cope. Teach them to be powerful with others, not over them.

Written with Passion by: HappierHomes Admin